The connection between this book, and dreamwork, and transformation may not be obvious yet so I wanted to make it more clear. This post to you might be big and long but I think it is important to express.
When I first started doing dreamwork, 7 years ago, right from the beginning I shared dream with Richard where someone who had power over me was trying to have sex with me even though I didn’t want it. The interpretation really helped me in two ways. 1) It helped me understand the concept of integrating new qualities, new energy into one’s life in a positive way and 2) it helped me begin to see where others were using power in a way to try to control me. It was not an easy lesson to learn.
My new strength and awareness of this is actually what led to my marriage ending for good because when I started changing for the better, my ex lost a grip and our weakness was exposed. That weakness was that we were never truly bonded in a deep sense emotionally. It was not a relationship of equals. We were not help-mates to one another, as much as we wanted to be. Instead, our relationship was unbalanced in that one person was expected to make the other happy all the time. One person was made to be like the servant to the other.
When I gave him the opportunity to make it become a marriage of equals, he wasn’t interested.
So what does this have to do with the book?
In November 2009, when I fled my home with my young 4 year old daughter to live in a women’s shelter in Niagara Falls, all I was thinking was “I’ve got to get to safety!” I didn’t know it would take me 8 years before I actually arrived at that “safe” place, emotionally, financially, physiologically, professionally, spiritually, physically.
The reason it took so long is that I had developed a pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving which led to people being allowed to devastate me.
As the years went on, even though one person was gone from my house, my patterns continued and devastation continued in my life. There are of course forces of materialism and corruption in the culture which also prevent me from improving as much as I’d like as fast as I’d like but I can not really do much about that at this moment. The only thing I have control over is my thoughts about it and what I chose to do about it.
I can take control of my thoughts, feeling, and behaviours and strive as best as I can to have them lead to situations, environments and opportunities which empower, uplift and enlighten others. That’s all I have control over really. That’s all any of us have control over, when we really get down to it.